Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Lost Generation Looks for a Job

I'm concerned.  No, I'm down right worried about the 20 somethings who are looking for work right now.  I have two in that category so I know first hand what they are experiencing.  They have the misfortune of starting their work careers in a sucky labor market.  Hell, it's not even a market.  It's more like a yard sale.

This young man, who looks a bit like my oldest, is dutifully scanning the papers, which would never happen since everyone their age group searches on-line.  Newspapers are so old school, ya know.

Ahhhh, the old days.  You got dressed in your Sunday best and went door to door, filling out applications and using your Miss Manners, uh, manners.  My youngins crawl out of bed and plod off to the computer, the new human resources/personnel office.  Do they even have people in HR anymore?  I'm just seeing a computer randomly selecting applications and then shooting them in the air.  The ones that land on a desk get picked up in passing by a manger who needs some new peons.  The rest of the applications get used for cat litter boxes and bird cages.

When my oldest son graduated from college, he had one interview at a car rental of the biggies.  He had two interviews and didn't make the cut.  Having rented from this particular company, I figured that he didn't fit the profile.  He didn't chew gum, yawn in anyone's face or have limited interpersonal skills.  At least that's the experience I had with one of their "customer service" people the last time I rented a car.

And so, a dozen on-line applications later, he settled for a job with an office supply chain.  He had to take a personality test for that one.  Really?  Was the fate of the free world on his shoulders?  Did they really have a commitment to hiring just the right person for this minimum wage job?  I think it's more a test of endurance.  If you can sit at the computer for an hour and answer all of the questions without putting your fist through the monitor, then you're the one for them.

Poor kid.  He wore the silly red polo shirt that didn't fit his 6'5" frame.  He reported to work at 5:30 a.m. to unload the truck.  He answered questions about which pens were on sale.  He patiently waited on senior citizens who just wanted someone to talk to.  And every two weeks, he stared in dismay at his paycheck and wondered, "What's it all about?"  Heck, I've wondered that over paychecks that were a lot bigger.

 The younger son had the same experience...minimum wage, random work hours, silly uniforms, no advancement jobs.  And to add even more insult to the situation, some jobs are "seasonal" which is corporate gobbildy gook for a job that ends right before you are eligible for unemployment.

Out of desperation and with an added bonus of adventure, they both worked jobs at Yellowstone National Park.  These jobs are considered seasonal, but if you complete the contract, approximately a six month commitment, you get a bonus and unemployment.  Having worked there myself, I can tell you that even though many people work in parks to enjoy nature, it is also a refuge for young adults who cannot find work in their states.  Quite a few people move from one park to another, living a nomad life of sorts.

My sons went back for a second season because they couldn't find work in Ohio, other than the above mentioned minimum wage jobs that do not provide benefits, dignity or advancement.  The oldest son has decided to pursue his dream of finding a job with a minor league baseball team.  The pay is low but he is willing to give it a shot before he gives up and thinks about graduate school.  The younger son is planning to go back to college to get a degree in Criminal Justice and possibly go to police academy.  I don't know where that came from, but maybe he got just a teeny bit of my social worker genes in a more macho version.  Don't tell him I said that.

None of my sons' friends have careers or anything close to it.  I don't think any of them have health insurance.  And I know that none of them have a clue about what to do.  Some day, in the far, far future, the economy will improve, I have my fingers crossed on that one, and these young men will be closed out of the job market.  Those faceless human resources people will toss their resumes aside with disgust because they don't have the experience they want.

How can you get experience when there are no jobs!!!!!!!!!  Would the HR people be happier if they had just stayed unemployed instead of waiting tables or stocking shelves?  I know this will happen as well as I know that useless lap kitty will barf in my shoe sometime this week.  The companies will forget that little unemployment disaster that was in all the headlines for a couple of years.  They will go back to asking questions like "What is you worst personality trait?"  They won't understand that working minimum wage jobs does build character.  Any job that you show up to day after day, especially if you hate it, builds character.

I don't want to be right about this one.  I would love to see the doors of opportunity open up for these young people, my lost generation, but I'm worried.  I think we're going to have them in our basements for some time to come. 

Thursday, December 2, 2010

You Say Wikileaks, I Say Wookileaks

Has anyone else been thinking the same thing?

Wouldn't Wikileaks be a lot more fun if it was Wookileaks?

And couldn't we all relate to this better if it was about wookies who need Depends?

Or how about Kon Tiki leaks?

I could understand the problem if your boat leaks.

And who wouldn't be interested in Mikileaks? 

This is a Mi-Ki.  I bet it leaks when you come home from work.

This is what I've been thinking about today.

I haven't been out much lately.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Sleepless in (Where Am I?)

You know that giving a drunk coffee only gets you a wide awake drunk?  The same applies to giving a tired person gallons of coffee.  All you get is a jittery, blabbering idiot who can't sleep.

This is my prime time sleeping season.  I love to sleep in a cold room. I leave my window open and go into some kind of hibernation mode.  Little frost pellets form on my face.  But, last night or this morning or whatever you call 3 a.m., all systems failed.

My oldest son is staying with us...who doesn't have one of those in the house?  He was heading to bed at 3 a.m., using his cell phone as a flashlight and ran into hubby just getting up, using the same light source.  O.K., so I don't understand either one of these life styles, and even if you choose to keep unnatural hours, we have electric lights.  So they have some sort of giggle fest out there in the hall which is better than screams and a fist fight I suppose, but I'm confused, I'm dazed and I'm awake.

You know, you can't try real hard to go back to sleep.  It's like trying to push a hard boiled egg through the eye of a needle.  It doesn't work, it's frustrating and you get egg all over the place.  This analogy doesn't seem to make much sense, but I'm barely coherent right now.  Just try to follow along and fill in the blanks when I leave them.

Here I's 9 a.m., I've been awake for 5 hours, I've had breakfast, I've checked my email, I've watched CNN, I'm already watching reruns of NCIS, it's snowing (yikes), my heart is skipping along on a caffeine high, and I'm thinking about signing up for a sky diving class. not make any decisions in this condition.  Hide the credit cards and sharp objects.

I promise not to handle anything today that could dismember me or a loved one, including Useless Lap Kitty.  I remember Thanksgiving two years ago when I almost sliced the end of my thumb off with a handy dandy food slicer, and there was this trip to the emergency room, and there was crying and fainting but hubby recovered when the needles went away, and then I had to fix dinner with this big honking bandage on my thumb, and now the end of my thumb is permanently numb, and I threw the slicer away as soon as I got home, so I'll probably just stay in my comfy clothes and hope that eventually I just fall over into a coma but right now I think I'll do some laundry and alphabetize my recipes and clean out the dryer vent and paint the bathroom...........