Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Sleepless in (Where Am I?)

You know that giving a drunk coffee only gets you a wide awake drunk?  The same applies to giving a tired person gallons of coffee.  All you get is a jittery, blabbering idiot who can't sleep.

This is my prime time sleeping season.  I love to sleep in a cold room. I leave my window open and go into some kind of hibernation mode.  Little frost pellets form on my face.  But, last night or this morning or whatever you call 3 a.m., all systems failed.

My oldest son is staying with us...who doesn't have one of those in the house?  He was heading to bed at 3 a.m., using his cell phone as a flashlight and ran into hubby just getting up, using the same light source.  O.K., so I don't understand either one of these life styles, and even if you choose to keep unnatural hours, we have electric lights.  So they have some sort of giggle fest out there in the hall which is better than screams and a fist fight I suppose, but I'm confused, I'm dazed and I'm awake.

You know, you can't try real hard to go back to sleep.  It's like trying to push a hard boiled egg through the eye of a needle.  It doesn't work, it's frustrating and you get egg all over the place.  This analogy doesn't seem to make much sense, but I'm barely coherent right now.  Just try to follow along and fill in the blanks when I leave them.

Here I's 9 a.m., I've been awake for 5 hours, I've had breakfast, I've checked my email, I've watched CNN, I'm already watching reruns of NCIS, it's snowing (yikes), my heart is skipping along on a caffeine high, and I'm thinking about signing up for a sky diving class. not make any decisions in this condition.  Hide the credit cards and sharp objects.

I promise not to handle anything today that could dismember me or a loved one, including Useless Lap Kitty.  I remember Thanksgiving two years ago when I almost sliced the end of my thumb off with a handy dandy food slicer, and there was this trip to the emergency room, and there was crying and fainting but hubby recovered when the needles went away, and then I had to fix dinner with this big honking bandage on my thumb, and now the end of my thumb is permanently numb, and I threw the slicer away as soon as I got home, so I'll probably just stay in my comfy clothes and hope that eventually I just fall over into a coma but right now I think I'll do some laundry and alphabetize my recipes and clean out the dryer vent and paint the bathroom...........


  1. Oh how I know that feeling!

    I have a "Useless Lap Kitty" who just happens to like giving himself a bath at about 3am. He normally is sleeping on the floor at the foot of the bed when the thought strikes him. He sounds like a dozen children all chewing with their mouths open when he does it. He wakes me up when he does it!

    Once awake I realize I have to go to the bathroom. Then I realize I have a particular project that has to be done in the morning, then I realize my mouth is dry, then I realize there is no way I'm ever going to get back to sleep!

    By the end of the work day, I can barely hold my head up and keep my eyes open so I stretch out on the couch for a nap. Do you remember those dolls that when you lay them down their eyes go shut? Well, you guessed it, I'm the opposite!

    I hope you picked out the color for your bathroom already. :)

  2. You do know that last paragraph proves you were on a severe coffee high when you wrote this, right? :)

  3. Nut...exactly to that doll thing. That's me. The color of the bathroom shall be pink. Maybe the men will not stay in there long enough to mess it up if it's girly.
    Veggie...Whadya mean? A coffee high? Jerk, twitch...


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