Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Best Ohio Potato Salad

I'm talking potato salad today because you can't get much more Ohio than whipping up a 20 lb bowl of the fattening stuff. 

Potato salad is hubby's comfort food.  He considers himself a California boy, but he would sell his soul to the state of Ohio if I served potato salad every day.  He even takes out the garbage when he sees me pulling the ingredients together.

To be honest, I'd cook cow tongue if it made him do more household chores. I'm really, really glad he doesn't like organ meat cause I may have been lying about the tongue.  The catch is that I have to use his mother's recipe.  No substitutions, no sneaking a new seasoning and definitely no mustard. 

Before we start cooking, there is one ground rule.  Stay out of my kitchen.  It's the size of a coffin...I'm not kidding.  I hyperventilate when I'm in it all by myself.  Are we clear? 

Oh yes.  You have to understand one other thing.  I'm not giving you exact measurements.  You're in Ohio now and we don't use no stinking measuring spoons here.  Actually, this is one of those recipes you can't screw up a whole lot.

First, grab yourself a 5 lb bag of Yukon Gold potatoes...my personal favorites.  I wash them off, cut them in half or quarters and then put them in boiling water.  I peel them after they cool off a little.  We are not of the potato salad with peels school of cooking.

Meanwhile, boil up a bunch of eggs.  Today, I used 6 eggs because I felt like.  Maybe next time I'll boil 8.  Don't try to pin me down on this.  Then chop up a bunch of celery and onions.  Same deal.  Just chop mindlessly while the potato water boils over the pan and drips down into your stove.,  This always happens.  It's part of the recipe.  Chop up the eggs when they are hard boiled.

Mix all of the chopped up things together with an unhealthy amount of mayonnaise, salt, pepper and celery seed.  Cube the potatoes and dump them in the mix.  Stir delicately.  Oh heck...if it looks like mashed potatoes it doesn't really matter....so stir away.  I'm going to get Martha Stewarty on you, but it works better if the potatoes are a little warm when you mix this up.  They soak up the mayo better and you get this fusion thing.  I can't believe that I used the word fusion in a sentence.


Ta Da!  Here it is!  The best Ohio potato salad.

I still don't understand how 5 lbs of potatoes can turn into 20 lbs of potato salad, but I needed a fork lift to get this bowl in the refrigerator.

Before he went to bed, hubby gave me instructions to not let him eat any until tomorrow...not even if he begs or sneaks or promises to clean the toilets.  He wants the potato salad nice and cold before he dives head first into the bowl.

Finally, If you want to be an honorary citizen of Ohio, don't be seduced by potato salad recipes made with vinegar dressings.  It's not potato salad without mayonnaise.  Do you hear me?  The basic Ohio food groups are mayonnaise, cream cheese and cool whip.  We don't recognize recipes without one of these three ingredients. 

Gotta go.  I think hubby is rappelling down the side of the house with a fork.

4 comments:

  1. You just know I'm trying this. Tomorrow maybe. I LOVE potato salad but I haven't yet kicked it Ohio style, therefore, I must do it. Eggs and all. And your hubby is right, it HAS to be freaking cold to be at its tastiest!

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  2. I'm a fan of potato salad, too, but I'm even more of a minimalist than your husband. I only use boiled eggs, onion, and mayo. I also use red potatoes (skin off). Turns out pretty yummy, if I do say so myself. I can tolerate some other kinds of potato salad, but none with mustard. Yuck!

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  3. Veg...I would love to see you cook. I see you cooking in some kind of strange apron with headbanging music playing. Potato salad seems tame for you.

    Betty...No celery? Oh Betty. Give it a chance!

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  4. Ahhhh, yes. Judy's potato salad is excellent and if the taters absorb too much of the mayo, you can add more as well as celery seed, salt and pepper. My beverage of choice is a cold beer with this comfort food and you can serve accompanied by hot dogs, burgers or salami sandwiches. Sorry about the lack of mustard, but I'm just not used to it in this dish. Prefer it in deviled eggs or on a hot dog (Gulden's, of course). Hey, Veggie, we bought a zucchini at the local farmer's market Monday. Any killer recipes to share with us? Well, it's 6:30am here now and I may have to sample Judy's project. Later, all!

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